Overcoming Self-Doubt

The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world, the stupid are cocksure, while the intelligent are full of doubt.

Bertrand Russell

Self-doubt is the biggest bully, ever. You don’t even have to go outside yourself to hear deprecating self-talk about your thoughts and actions, how you feel and look, who values you-if anyone, your likelihood of success, who has your back? who is trustworthy, etc. It can be a beating just to open your eyes in the morning and start the day with low self-confidence that slides lower with that nit-picking little voice.

For some of us it’s situational. You are fine and mostly confident in school or a business environment, but totally out of your comfort zone in a social setting. Or just the opposite can be true — social butterfly at home and church, but a stiff wall-flower in the office meeting.

It can become a feeling of deep aloneness, where you must struggle on alone, not able to ask for help because no one is truly there to help you–unless you have already over-done for them. Or you are too embarrassed and full of shame to ask for help. A Self-doubter has an infinite number of stories to explain and justify why you feel so bad and why “things just don’t work out for you”. And all those reasons are big arrows pointing at your own lack of importance and worth.

The Self-doubter also has few personal boundaries, making you easy prey for the predators and narcissists on the prowl. Even if other don’t have “bad” intentions, who will value you, if you don’t value yourself? It puts other people in charge of your situation and destiny.

What can be done? Resolve it!

If these words describe your identity: self-doubt, low self-esteem, indecisive, hesitant, self-deprecation, self-anger, over-modest, passive, shy, etc, then you will be pleased to know that Emotional Resolution (EmRes) protocol can change it!

It may seem like a huge mountain of “stuff” over and around you, that is too big to tunnel out of. But I can assure you, if “Self-doubt” is your thing, we can take care of that.

Self-Doubt is the most common complaint among my Emotional Resolution clients. Many of the most amazing success stories are with people that lack self-confidence and boundaries as their primary trouble. Even if individuals come for other reasons, like grief or separation/divorce, Self-doubt is pervasive in our minds when our emotions are in turmoil.

It turns out, lack of self-confidence and boundaries are some of the easiest scenarios to address.

Why? Because you can easily pick out a specific situation that leads to “an episode” of damning self-talk. This is our entry point into an Emotional Resolution session.

Emotional Resolution uses the body’s own natural ability to access the troubling subconscious emotion(s) that triggered the Self-doubt. It was embedded in the body by some past trauma or high-stress situation. The body resolves the physical sensations associated with the embedded emotion, removing it forever. It sounds simple, and it is.

It is life changing! Resolving Self-doubt can provide amazing relief.

Every client is different with unique circumstances. Emotional Resolution protocol adapts to the individual case and produces results … period.

I tend to gush happy expletives at this point because the work is so exciting in it’s effects on clients and their happiness. Many have been able make decisions, be in their own power, getting procrastination out of the way, stop the self-bullying, it’s a long list of positive changes.

They have told me that their friends and families say they look different–better, happier. I think they do too. They are full of their own confidence and it shines out like a bright light.

Are you ready to reclaim your own power and turn on your internal light?

Book an Emotional Resolution Session

Does Emotional Resolution replace Therapy?

The short-answer is No.

Therapy or Psychotherapy is a process where a trained professional uses verbal and psychological techniques to help their client tackle specific or general problems such as a particular mental illness or a source of life stress by exploring their cause and effect on the client’s life and behavior[1]. There are many facets and techniques employed by therapists, but generally it requires a great deal of commitment from the client and there is a significant relationship between the therapeutic alliance and therapy outcome[2]. Psychotherapy is an cognitive and mental exploration of the reasons behind the issue and applies further cognitive and mental techniques to work the problem.

The Emotional Resolution or EmRes session is a process conducted by a trained professional that calls on emotional memories in the body and discharges them. Subconscious and unresolved emotions are in play when we experience highly charged situations and interactions with ourselves and other people. Somatic sensations are sparked when we recall those situations, giving us direct access to them for resolution. Emotional Resolution sessions resolve the root(s) of these emotions immediately, without having to know their origin or history.

Therapy and Emotional Resolution are highly compatible and complimentary. In all work to better our lives and behaviors by unraveling emotions, we pass through a series of steps:

  • Becoming aware of a pattern that we don’t want in our life
  • Recognizing that the pattern can be changed–it is not integral to who we are
  • Taking responsibility for what is, now… with the understanding that we may not be at fault for the trauma or whatever “stuck” the emotion in us, but we have to take ownership of our own pain and emotions as it is now and find ways to resolve it
  • Be willing to let go of the pain, emotions and past story associated with them.

A therapist or counselor can help sort out confusing and complex history, behavior and wounds. They can help bring perspective and awareness to our murky past. But once responsibilities and emotions become clear, and the emotions themselves need to be cleared away to relieve the suffering, then Emotional Resolution is the most efficient way through.

Emotional Resolution Protocol is a very specific and precise series of steps. It is literally the clearest and calmest way you will ever find to deal with emotions: no history, not triggering, no justification, no self-examination or judgement, no soul-crushing reliving, no emotional backlash from the retelling. Seriously, many times sessions are like giving a semi-animated description of what you had for lunch yesterday. It doesn’t change your history, but it does change how you feel about it and how you will feel about it in the future and, most importantly, how you will feel and act in a similar situation the future.

The body is doing all the work!

Our bodies have a natural capacity to resolve the emotions that are embedded in them, lodging there in times of high stress or trauma. And our bodies know how to access the subconscious emotion: by their physical sensation signature. The Emotional Resolution protocol capitalizes on this ability as we first recall the troubling situation, then directs us to the emotional memory as a prompt for the body to do it’s work. The body resolves the emotional imprint and we are set free from triggering cycle.

Understanding and accepting our emotional script and changing it are two different things.

  • Many people want to know why they feel and act the way they do. It’s valuable and useful to them and their processing. For this information gathering, therapy is irreplaceable.
  • Many people want to get rid of their triggers and troubling emotions. Emotional Resolution has no rivals in this area.
  • There is a matrix of people in one, the other or both of these groups.

If you are ready to change the emotional script that drives your life, then Emotional Resolution session will work for you.

Your Body is ready, Are You?

Book an Emotional Resolution Session

References
1. Therapy
2. The Benefits of Psychotherapy

Clearing the Tears

Why do we think something is wrong when we are crying? 

OH OH — Someone is experiencing an emotion, they have droplets of water coming out of their eyes……. that can’t be good? or can it?   

Typically when we see someone crying, we assume they are experiencing sadness or duress.  But we frequently cry during a heart-felt moments found in joyous births and weddings. 

Tears of other people remind us that we too have emotions. Without question, the vast majority of us would rather not deal with or be reminded that we have emotions. Since tears can go either way- happy or sad tears – they disturb us. And, compassion aside for a moment, we don’t want to deal with our own emotions or anyone else’s either. 

Emotions are messy, but necessary part of living.  Emotions tell us what is going on around us and how it’s affecting us.  Our bodies react with physical sensations (the emotion), that travel brain for interpretation and, if necessary,  to set a course of reaction (the response to emotion.) 

Some psychologies believe that tears part of a coping strategy that is self-soothing and can elicit support from those around us.  It restores “emotional equilibrium”, suggesting that sad tears lift blues and happy tears bring us back to neutral.

But tears don’t resolve the emotion that they spring from.  Tears are an instant remedy without a long-term benefit, emotionally speaking.

I’ve helped several of my clients with their tears. 

  1. Elsie (not her real name) had lost her most beloved husband 2 years prior to her work with me. She still had pictures of him all over the house, because she loved him and didn’t want to forget him or their time together. Whenever she would look at the pictures or talk about her husband with friends, Elsie would well-up with tears.  She said “I don’t mind the tears–I miss him.  But my friends think it’s wrong to cry after so many years.” I guided Elsie to resolve the emotion she felt when she looked at her husband’s picture.  At her next session, she came back all smiles! “I can look at his picture and NO TEARS–I just remember our happy times.  I still miss him, but the sadness is gone and the good stuff is left! Thank you!”
  2. Jane (again, an alias) cried at every happy event.  “It’s embarrassing”, she said. “If I’m at a wedding, baby shower, spiritual events or anywhere that I feel happy and blessed, I cry. People think I’m upset. Then I have to explain–its a mess”.  I helped Jane resolve the emotion she experiences in these moments of gladness that overwhelm her.  Jane reported back that now happy times are only happy. “I’ve found I can be joyous and compassionate without the tears.  I don’t feel the need to cry–it’s all smiles and ecstatic joy.  I love it!” 

I want to make a couple points that relate to Jane’s example.  First, when we are overwhelmed by emotion, happy, sad, or otherwise, we miss the essence/meaning of the moment before us. The buried, unresolved emotions flood in, to mix with the current emotional reaction and swamp the limbic system, which is responsible for “managing” these feelings. Many times it’s too much to grapple with. 

The emotion that prompted tears are drowning the ability to feel the joy of the moment. This works in the same way as engulfing anger might keep us from a reasonable response–we’re “too mad” and might produce tears of frustration. 

Second, Emotional Resolution (EmRes) works to remove the emotions that we didn’t naturally resolve when we felt them originally.  Sometimes, especially as children, the situation is so intense that the emotions produced don’t have the chance to get resolved by our bodies. They become imprinted in the body. As we move forward in time, these are literally the PTSD reactions we feel.

Removing imprinted emotions does not eliminate feelings of love, happiness, joy, etc.  These positive emotions are never imprinted or need to be removed.  In fact, the imprinted emotions depress our expression and experience of love.  In the end, the happy day-to-day bliss of being in love, finding love and happiness is where we want to end up….without the tears.

Who doesn’t want that?

Following the trail of tears can lead us to emotions that need to be resolved. and resolving your tears can lead to great experiences in your life.


I offer Emotional Resolution sessions in-person in North Dallas, Tx or on-the-phone.  Here is a link to schedule and appointment with me.   http://regulatingsense.schedulista.com/

Letting Go of “IT”

How many times have we heard or thought to ourselves, “just let it go”?  Don’t be angry forever, let it go.  Don’t be anxious or fearful, let it go. If we could just wash it off in the shower, or cough it out like a puff of smog, that would be one thing. But we can’t seem to be rid of these unwanted emotions like sweaty clothes.

We want to forgive and forget, but we still remember with the same angst, the same pain, the same regret when something triggers that emotion again.

Often we are told to “feel your feelings”, with the implication that if we feel them correctly they will go away.  But what does that mean? Feel what and where.  Feel it through the tear and terror? feel it so completely that we drown in tears? Argh, so frustrating because it never seems to work.

It never seemed to work because we didn’t have all the instructions.

It turns out that resolving emotions effectively and permanently is a precise protocol. 

First you have to be in the emotion. Let the emotion pass or try to manufacture one and it doesn’t work. Then close your eyes and feel the physical sensations in your body.  Let these sensations evolve and change until they dissipate. This lasts from 2 seconds to 2.5 minutes. And viola! The emotion is gone.

It’s too simple really.  Its so deceptively simple that one can easily step off the “script” and suddenly your back to wallowing in fruitless ventures.

But when followed correctly it works. Amazingly, it works.

And sorry, this little snippet of the protocol doesn’t give enough information about what not to do.  You’ll need just a little more instruction or the assistance of a professionally trained person.

But YES, all you have to do is “Feel the Feelings”, but not the ones in your mind.

A big THANK YOU to Cedric Bertelli for bringing this work to the USA!

I’ve been working with Emotional Resolution protocols for almost a year now [since 2017].  I know it doesn’t seem like a very long time. But I’ve personally experienced and seen in my clients, positive changes that have left me surprised and astonished.

Emotions, behaviors and somatic issues that have disappeared and not returned:

  • Fear of driving fast
  • weeping in grief for two years; 
    separation anxiety/abandonment of dying family member
  • a sales person’s frustration/anger when caught between company and customer; sales person’s performance/making the numbers anxiety
  • anger when passed over for promotion
  • anger/frustration spouse’s behavior (many of these)
  • being uncomfortable in own body; forgiving an unforgiving self-image
  • fear of being killed/shot
  • sports performance anxiety and injury/recovery fear
  • Migraine
  • asthma; phlegm over-production
  • procrastination (many of these); avoidance
  • pain in joints and arthritis
  • family trauma
  • anger/rage at “nothing”
  • fear of meeting new people/making new friends/fitting in
  • fear and paranoia at work
  • idiopathic stomach pain after eating 
  • and more

It’s crazy how well it works!

If you have an emotion, behavior or chronic physical issue to resolve, try Emotional Resolution.  

I offer session in-person in North Dallas, Tx or on-the-phone.  Here is a link to schedule and appointment with  me.  http://regulatingsense.schedulista.com/