Emotional Help for College Stress

With High School complete, the next life step for many graduates is college which includes new responsibilities, financial pressures and scholastic expectations. Many college students are not emotionally equipped for the challenges they will face.

Freshmen, in particular, must adjust to the interruption of old school relationships, inciting a sense of loss, grief and loneliness. New friendships take time to develop and it’s easy to make poor choices in the desire to connect socially. This can be complicated by any existing difficulties in connecting and bonding with others. Being in an ocean of new students all looking for connection doesn’t overcome those emotional intelligence deficits. [1]

On top of social pressures of finding a new tribe, students find that they must shift up to a new level of performance. They need to compete for grades with classmates who were also at the top in their own high school class. High costs of secondary education can bring financial pressures requiring an extra job, cutting back on housing and food expenses, resulting in a tougher life and sleep schedule, which also affect performance in class.

It’s a high stakes gamble that all the money and hard work will pay off in an increasingly competitive post-graduation job market — no pressure!

” A 2013 survey of over 123,000 students across 153 campuses confirmed that over half of students feel overwhelming anxiety, and about a third experience intense depression, sometime during the year.  Almost a third report that their stress has been high enough at some point to interfere with their academics—lowering their grades on exams or courses or projects—and 44% say that academic or career issues have been traumatic or difficult to handle. The majority of college students don’t get enough sleep, and half say that they’ve felt overwhelmed and exhausted, lonely or sad sometime during the year. “[1]

“According to mental health research conducted by the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI):

  • One in four students have a diagnosable illness
  • 40% do not seek help
  • 80% feel overwhelmed by their responsibilities
  • 50% have become so anxious that they struggled in school [2]

The five most prevalent mental health issues are: depression, anxiety, suicide, eating disorders, and addictions(drugs and alcohol)

How can we help them? How can we ease the pressure in our universities and colleges?

Arm Them with Emotional Resolution Skills!

Emotional Resolution, EmRes for short, is a simple technique that can be performed on the Self in the moment of the emotion (EmRes-Self) or in a session with a trained EmRes Professional (EmRes Session). EmRes uses the body’s own innate capacity to resolve negative and dysfunctional emotions.

Many studies have shown that times of very high stress and/or disruptive trauma, emotions are literally embedded into the body, where even vague similarities to the original event can trigger the trapped emotion to come rushing back, flooding the senses and disturbing any chance of a “normal” response or behavior. Results can range from anxiety and depression to rage and PTSD.

EmRes starts with the triggered situation and works back thru the limbic (emotional) center of the brain to access the body memories-the physical sensations that represent the emotion. Once accessed, the body does the work to eliminate the embedded emotion and it’s situational triggers. And voila! it’s gone forever!

EmRes Sessions are quick: 15-30 minutes. EmRes-Self is quicker, 8 sec to 30 secs is normal. Usually people use a combination of both in the early stages of the work.

Added Bonuses: no reliving or triggering; don’t need to know or understand the original trauma causing the problem; fully conscious, aware and in control at all times; don’t have to tell story or personal details.

Best thing: EmRes Sessions can be done in-person or over the phone. EmRes-Self can be taught in-person or over the phone.


If you or someone you love is in university or any other high-pressure situation where performance, social and financial pressures all collide with any emotional issues, you or they would do well to work with and learn Emotional Resolution.

Are you ready to let Emotional Resolution work for you?

Book an EmRes Session or EmRes-Self class


References
1. Why college freshmen need to take Emotions 101
2. The Top Mental Health Challenges Facing Students

Fear is a Fearsome Thing

I think everyone has, at one time or another, had a fear or phobia of some kind. Some fears are not as bothersome, especially if you don’t encounter the fear trigger very often. Like the duck-watching-me fear, anatidaephobia, if you don’t encounter many ducks, or are in environments where duck are likely to pop up, then may be relatively manageable. Well…it turns out that anatidaephobia is not a real phobia, It was created by “Far Side” cartoonist Gary Larsen and went so viral that it was included in a commercial advertisement for Aflac, an insurance company that has a duck “watching over” its customers.

BUT, Fears and Phobias are very real and very debilitating to individuals in the presences of their fear trigger. Specific phobias are described by The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM–5) as an excessive and irrational fear of a specified object or situation. The DSM-5 categorizes specific phobias into 5 categories:

  • Animal Types (dogs, snakes, spiders, etc.)
  • Natural Environment Types (thunder storms, floods, earthquakes, etc.)
  • Blood-Injection-Injury Types (seeing blood, getting medical treatment involving blood, witnessing medical procedures, etc.)
  • Situational Types (elevators, airplanes, small spaces, etc.)
  • Other Types (fears of contracting an illness, fear of choking, etc.)

These are anxiety disorders that include a persistent, irrational fear. When exposed to the feared item/situation, the person has an extreme anxiety response (panic attack, screaming, freezing, etc.). The person may avoid the feared stimuli at all costs and it may impact their daily life and overall functioning.

The person may know that the response is irrational, but that does nothing to calm the panic brought on by the trigger/situation. For them, in that moment, it may feel like life or death to get away from the fear trigger.

Traditional therapies use treatments that gradually expose the person to the trigger, which helps them overcome the fear by reeducating the brain to reduce the panic and anxiety until they can tolerate the trigger.


Sometimes we do, but often we don’t know where the phobia came from. It is either too concealed in the past or can be the result from a number of small-ish but seemingly unrelated frightening events. And, even if we did know the cause, is unlikely to be helpful in removing the phobia.

With Emotional Resolution (EmRes), the client is asked to recount the triggered event. The practitioner leads them thru a protocol of physical sensory awareness which releases the triggered emotion that is buried in the body causing the phobia.

Recalling the event using the Emotional Resolution protocol is not triggering. It is a calm recollection of the story about what happened. This is enough for the limbic system to recall the body memories of the emotion that incited the phobic reaction. The client remains calm, lucid and present during the session. The limbic system accesses the physical sensations, the emotion’s signature, which are used to release the emotion.

Fears and Phobias can be debilitating if they prevent you from “normal” activities. Help is available using Emotional Resolution. The results are immediate.

Are you ready to release your fears and phobias?

Book an Emotional Resolution session today

Emotional Merry-go-rounds and other spirals

Its that situation again. That person or group is present. This conversation or action will trigger my feelings. I’ll spiral into my “go-to” emotions. and I’ll be back in my misery, again. It takes to much energy and time to climb out of that wheel. Time to get off the scary-go-round!

PTSD, depression, substance abuse and other disorders are commonly associated with emotional dysregulation.
Its the inability to manage the intensity and duration of negative emotions such as fear, sadness, or anger. When caught off-guard by some triggering event, clients are plunged into overwhelming emotions and behaviors that may be difficult to recover from.

Traditionally emotional regulation skills are based on cognitive and behavioral interventions, using conscious thought and behavior to regulate emotions.

But what if we can address the emotions directly? Resolving them, in the moment they are occurring? ..and just get rid of them permanently?

Think about it. If you have a nose bleed, you wouldn’t just let the blood run down your face, onto your shirt. No. You would stop what you are doing and take care of it with a tissue, tip your head back, maybe add a cold compress. You and everyone around you will understand that your body needs some attention. It is a necessary and immediate need.

It’s the same way with emotions. If you are experiencing an emotion or feeling, that is anywhere from uncomfortable to overwhelming, it is time to stop and take a moment to deal with that emotion…. just like its a nose-bleed.

How do we loosen emotion’s grip and get control back? How do we stand in our emotion, face it head on, in the moment of crisis and “conquer it”?

We must all learn to resolve and balance our unwanted emotions on the fly, and we can do it quite simply.

Emotional Resolution on and for the Self (EmRes-Self)

  • IN THE MOMENT, while you are still in the emotion, Close your eyes. turn your focus away from the outside source of your disturbance and look in.
  • Scan your body and notice at least two physical sensations, like throat tight, hands sweaty, hard to breathe, stomach tight, etc.
  • Allow the sensations to change, without control or expectation. Don’t do anything, just watch.
  • Be present with the physical sensations until they are gone, for up to 2 minutes
  • When you are calm, open your eyes. the emotion will be gone.

It sounds ridiculously simple. How can something this unpretentious work?

Well, if you don’t embellish the routine, it works fabulously. Here are a couple guidelines to curb your desire to “make it better”.

  1. This process works with the current emotional difficulty your body is experiencing. If you are angry at your co-worker now, then you must resolve now while you are still angry at him, not after you’ve cooled down and are recalling your anger. The timing can be tricky in this regard. But immediately excusing yourself to a restroom and resolve there, will usually keep you in the emotion enough to resolve. Excusing yourself to tend a fake “important text” on you phone, also allows you to covertly bow your head to your phone and close your eyes for a few seconds–its surprising how socially normal this is.
  2. Emotions are experienced by the body as physical sensations. It is the body that has the embedded/trapped emotions that keep coming up via triggers, flooding your mind and overwhelming thought and reason. When you close your eyes, you are shifting from the mental brain/memory to emotional brain/memory.
    The body has an innate ability to metabolize the emotional memories, the physical sensations, if you give it the time and space to do so.
    And that is just it–You must give your body time to do it’s work!
    Remember: Power goes where you focus.
    You can not be in your mind and your body at the same time. If you gently focus on your body, it will resolve the physical sensations and release the emotional imprint. If you let your focus return to the mind, recalling the situation, trying to make sense of the physical sensations, focusing too hard on the sensations, trying to control or change the shape, form or intensity of the sensations, then the body stops its “resolve the emotion work”. Just watch the physical sensations and allow them to change. The sensations can be uncomfortable, but even “breathing into it” is a form of control that will derail the whole process.
  3. Allow the physical sensations to change, grow, move, pop up in another location as you passively watch, until all physical sensations are gone and you are calm… for up to 2 minutes. Many times it can take only 8-20 seconds! After 2 minutes, which feels like a long time, open your eyes and recall the emotional situation that disturbed you. We are not changing history here. You will still remember being mad, for instance, but you will most likely not feel mad about it any more. If you do feel a little emotion is left, then close your eyes again, go thru the resolve again. It will be completely gone after the second time through.

It really works. It works for me. It works for everyone that has learned it. And it will work for you.

In one of my advance Emotional Resolution classes, I met a woman who was in New York on 9/11, a hotline operator, who watched the buildings fall from close range. She had PTSD for years as a result. She shared that most of her healing was finally accomplished by using the ER-Self protocol, when she was triggered, in the instant that she was in the emotion. She was adamant about the power of Emotional Resolution on the Self (EmRes-Self).

After I recovered a little from the impact of her story, I reflected on my own use of ER-Self. Every time I had the presence to [stop, close my eyes, let go of my mind, feel the physical sensation in my body, allow them to change, observe them lightly until they were gone], it worked. My troubling emotion, present in me at the time, was gone.

You can practice from the instructions in this blog and get it right. But sometimes we have questions and need face to face time with an instructor. I teach classes in ER-Self, both to groups and privately in-person and on the phone.

Please learn this amazing act of Self-Care. Just like a nose-bleed or cut on our finger, we need to take care of ourselves when our body demands attention, whether it shows up as actual blood or as a troubling emotion that affects our ability to effectively navigate our life and world.

Are you ready to take Self-Care to the next level?

Learn ER-Self with a group (In Dallas, Tx)

Learn ER-Self individually, on the phone or in-person

Does Emotional Resolution replace Therapy?

The short-answer is No.

Therapy or Psychotherapy is a process where a trained professional uses verbal and psychological techniques to help their client tackle specific or general problems such as a particular mental illness or a source of life stress by exploring their cause and effect on the client’s life and behavior[1]. There are many facets and techniques employed by therapists, but generally it requires a great deal of commitment from the client and there is a significant relationship between the therapeutic alliance and therapy outcome[2]. Psychotherapy is an cognitive and mental exploration of the reasons behind the issue and applies further cognitive and mental techniques to work the problem.

The Emotional Resolution or EmRes session is a process conducted by a trained professional that calls on emotional memories in the body and discharges them. Subconscious and unresolved emotions are in play when we experience highly charged situations and interactions with ourselves and other people. Somatic sensations are sparked when we recall those situations, giving us direct access to them for resolution. Emotional Resolution sessions resolve the root(s) of these emotions immediately, without having to know their origin or history.

Therapy and Emotional Resolution are highly compatible and complimentary. In all work to better our lives and behaviors by unraveling emotions, we pass through a series of steps:

  • Becoming aware of a pattern that we don’t want in our life
  • Recognizing that the pattern can be changed–it is not integral to who we are
  • Taking responsibility for what is, now… with the understanding that we may not be at fault for the trauma or whatever “stuck” the emotion in us, but we have to take ownership of our own pain and emotions as it is now and find ways to resolve it
  • Be willing to let go of the pain, emotions and past story associated with them.

A therapist or counselor can help sort out confusing and complex history, behavior and wounds. They can help bring perspective and awareness to our murky past. But once responsibilities and emotions become clear, and the emotions themselves need to be cleared away to relieve the suffering, then Emotional Resolution is the most efficient way through.

Emotional Resolution Protocol is a very specific and precise series of steps. It is literally the clearest and calmest way you will ever find to deal with emotions: no history, not triggering, no justification, no self-examination or judgement, no soul-crushing reliving, no emotional backlash from the retelling. Seriously, many times sessions are like giving a semi-animated description of what you had for lunch yesterday. It doesn’t change your history, but it does change how you feel about it and how you will feel about it in the future and, most importantly, how you will feel and act in a similar situation the future.

The body is doing all the work!

Our bodies have a natural capacity to resolve the emotions that are embedded in them, lodging there in times of high stress or trauma. And our bodies know how to access the subconscious emotion: by their physical sensation signature. The Emotional Resolution protocol capitalizes on this ability as we first recall the troubling situation, then directs us to the emotional memory as a prompt for the body to do it’s work. The body resolves the emotional imprint and we are set free from triggering cycle.

Understanding and accepting our emotional script and changing it are two different things.

  • Many people want to know why they feel and act the way they do. It’s valuable and useful to them and their processing. For this information gathering, therapy is irreplaceable.
  • Many people want to get rid of their triggers and troubling emotions. Emotional Resolution has no rivals in this area.
  • There is a matrix of people in one, the other or both of these groups.

If you are ready to change the emotional script that drives your life, then Emotional Resolution session will work for you.

Your Body is ready, Are You?

Book an Emotional Resolution Session

References
1. Therapy
2. The Benefits of Psychotherapy

Clearing the Tears

Why do we think something is wrong when we are crying? 

OH OH — Someone is experiencing an emotion, they have droplets of water coming out of their eyes……. that can’t be good? or can it?   

Typically when we see someone crying, we assume they are experiencing sadness or duress.  But we frequently cry during a heart-felt moments found in joyous births and weddings. 

Tears of other people remind us that we too have emotions. Without question, the vast majority of us would rather not deal with or be reminded that we have emotions. Since tears can go either way- happy or sad tears – they disturb us. And, compassion aside for a moment, we don’t want to deal with our own emotions or anyone else’s either. 

Emotions are messy, but necessary part of living.  Emotions tell us what is going on around us and how it’s affecting us.  Our bodies react with physical sensations (the emotion), that travel brain for interpretation and, if necessary,  to set a course of reaction (the response to emotion.) 

Some psychologies believe that tears part of a coping strategy that is self-soothing and can elicit support from those around us.  It restores “emotional equilibrium”, suggesting that sad tears lift blues and happy tears bring us back to neutral.

But tears don’t resolve the emotion that they spring from.  Tears are an instant remedy without a long-term benefit, emotionally speaking.

I’ve helped several of my clients with their tears. 

  1. Elsie (not her real name) had lost her most beloved husband 2 years prior to her work with me. She still had pictures of him all over the house, because she loved him and didn’t want to forget him or their time together. Whenever she would look at the pictures or talk about her husband with friends, Elsie would well-up with tears.  She said “I don’t mind the tears–I miss him.  But my friends think it’s wrong to cry after so many years.” I guided Elsie to resolve the emotion she felt when she looked at her husband’s picture.  At her next session, she came back all smiles! “I can look at his picture and NO TEARS–I just remember our happy times.  I still miss him, but the sadness is gone and the good stuff is left! Thank you!”
  2. Jane (again, an alias) cried at every happy event.  “It’s embarrassing”, she said. “If I’m at a wedding, baby shower, spiritual events or anywhere that I feel happy and blessed, I cry. People think I’m upset. Then I have to explain–its a mess”.  I helped Jane resolve the emotion she experiences in these moments of gladness that overwhelm her.  Jane reported back that now happy times are only happy. “I’ve found I can be joyous and compassionate without the tears.  I don’t feel the need to cry–it’s all smiles and ecstatic joy.  I love it!” 

I want to make a couple points that relate to Jane’s example.  First, when we are overwhelmed by emotion, happy, sad, or otherwise, we miss the essence/meaning of the moment before us. The buried, unresolved emotions flood in, to mix with the current emotional reaction and swamp the limbic system, which is responsible for “managing” these feelings. Many times it’s too much to grapple with. 

The emotion that prompted tears are drowning the ability to feel the joy of the moment. This works in the same way as engulfing anger might keep us from a reasonable response–we’re “too mad” and might produce tears of frustration. 

Second, Emotional Resolution (EmRes) works to remove the emotions that we didn’t naturally resolve when we felt them originally.  Sometimes, especially as children, the situation is so intense that the emotions produced don’t have the chance to get resolved by our bodies. They become imprinted in the body. As we move forward in time, these are literally the PTSD reactions we feel.

Removing imprinted emotions does not eliminate feelings of love, happiness, joy, etc.  These positive emotions are never imprinted or need to be removed.  In fact, the imprinted emotions depress our expression and experience of love.  In the end, the happy day-to-day bliss of being in love, finding love and happiness is where we want to end up….without the tears.

Who doesn’t want that?

Following the trail of tears can lead us to emotions that need to be resolved. and resolving your tears can lead to great experiences in your life.


I offer Emotional Resolution sessions in-person in North Dallas, Tx or on-the-phone.  Here is a link to schedule and appointment with me.   http://regulatingsense.schedulista.com/

Letting Go of “IT”

How many times have we heard or thought to ourselves, “just let it go”?  Don’t be angry forever, let it go.  Don’t be anxious or fearful, let it go. If we could just wash it off in the shower, or cough it out like a puff of smog, that would be one thing. But we can’t seem to be rid of these unwanted emotions like sweaty clothes.

We want to forgive and forget, but we still remember with the same angst, the same pain, the same regret when something triggers that emotion again.

Often we are told to “feel your feelings”, with the implication that if we feel them correctly they will go away.  But what does that mean? Feel what and where.  Feel it through the tear and terror? feel it so completely that we drown in tears? Argh, so frustrating because it never seems to work.

It never seemed to work because we didn’t have all the instructions.

It turns out that resolving emotions effectively and permanently is a precise protocol. 

First you have to be in the emotion. Let the emotion pass or try to manufacture one and it doesn’t work. Then close your eyes and feel the physical sensations in your body.  Let these sensations evolve and change until they dissipate. This lasts from 2 seconds to 2.5 minutes. And viola! The emotion is gone.

It’s too simple really.  Its so deceptively simple that one can easily step off the “script” and suddenly your back to wallowing in fruitless ventures.

But when followed correctly it works. Amazingly, it works.

And sorry, this little snippet of the protocol doesn’t give enough information about what not to do.  You’ll need just a little more instruction or the assistance of a professionally trained person.

But YES, all you have to do is “Feel the Feelings”, but not the ones in your mind.

A big THANK YOU to Cedric Bertelli for bringing this work to the USA!

I’ve been working with Emotional Resolution protocols for almost a year now [since 2017].  I know it doesn’t seem like a very long time. But I’ve personally experienced and seen in my clients, positive changes that have left me surprised and astonished.

Emotions, behaviors and somatic issues that have disappeared and not returned:

  • Fear of driving fast
  • weeping in grief for two years; 
    separation anxiety/abandonment of dying family member
  • a sales person’s frustration/anger when caught between company and customer; sales person’s performance/making the numbers anxiety
  • anger when passed over for promotion
  • anger/frustration spouse’s behavior (many of these)
  • being uncomfortable in own body; forgiving an unforgiving self-image
  • fear of being killed/shot
  • sports performance anxiety and injury/recovery fear
  • Migraine
  • asthma; phlegm over-production
  • procrastination (many of these); avoidance
  • pain in joints and arthritis
  • family trauma
  • anger/rage at “nothing”
  • fear of meeting new people/making new friends/fitting in
  • fear and paranoia at work
  • idiopathic stomach pain after eating 
  • and more

It’s crazy how well it works!

If you have an emotion, behavior or chronic physical issue to resolve, try Emotional Resolution.  

I offer session in-person in North Dallas, Tx or on-the-phone.  Here is a link to schedule and appointment with  me.  http://regulatingsense.schedulista.com/